What is the Book About?
This is NOT an AI-generated printable book with cliches promises to save the world if you strictly follow my 10-step plan!
Rather, think of it as a gift that keeps on giving. Curiosity has a way of growing on you. As you embrace it, you will identify blockages in your freedom and find the ability to know what is “just right” for you. We will survey what is wasting your energy, investigate what makes you unique, and mine for the gold inside you, so you can pursue the future you want.
Curiosity is the elixir behind questioning, evaluating, and challenging our surroundings, ultimately leading to profound transformations. Below are a few highlights, as well as, the CQ Self-Assessment.
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PART 1: Discovery
Chapter 1: The Curiosity Key to Transformation
Chapter 2: Freedom to Choose What’s Right for You
Chapter 3: Your Breakthrough Awaits (or The Weight is Over)
PART 2: Experiment
Chapter 4: Constellation of Family Issues
Chapter 5: Bioenergetics that Map Internal Struggles From External Cues
Chapter 6: Your Body Offers Clues
PART 3: Navigation
Chapter 7: The Mirror Effect
Chapter 8: The Gold is in the Blockages
Chapter 9: Waking Up From Your Trance
Chapter 10: The Truth About Your Imposter Syndrome
Chapter 11: You are Not (Always) Your Label
Chapter 12: When the Sofa Talks Back
Chapter 13: Master of Your Own Path -- Where’s the Leak?
PART 4: Arrival Time
Chapter 14: Taking Off the Blindfolds
Chapter 15: Fear of Life
Chapter 16: The Wonders of Living (or What If You’re Wrong?)
Chapter 17: Arriving Without the “Madness”
POST-MORTEM
Appendix A: The Curiosity Quotient (CQ) Assessment
About the Author
Acknowledgments
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Curiosity has a way of creating space for life, like shining light into the attic of our minds. With it, we can grab our figurative flashlight and expose the grungy window that prevents light from coming in, the corners you didn’t know existed, the spiderwebs, dead rats, garbage, broken glass and if you’re really unlucky, body parts. Turning on the light showed a room with potential, despite the unnerving contents that can be cleaned up. Now, due to that itty-bitty spark of curiosity, you find there’s space to create whatever you want.
Developing curiosity is absolutely vital. We’ve all had moments when we realize we are facing another day with the same stuff, and same story. What is the point? The purpose of life is NOT just to arrive at the morgue conveniently and to death safely.
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Every moment is an opportunity to be curious about what is possible and how to know when it is just right for you.
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Everybody wants to be free. But what does that actually mean? And why are you not free? These, and other questions, plaster the pavement of the winding road to the morgue for us all. They are the seeds for this book.
What’s just right for you? How can you feel free to foster curiosity and choose what’s right for you? And another question: How do you know when you know?
The emphasis is what’s “just right” for you. This means it’s not too much, not too little. There’s nothing worse than trying to live a life that doesn’t fit. It steals our energy while we compromise our ideals, our dreams, our very nature of what makes us who we are. “Just right” is a knowing of fulfillment, nothing is missing, nothing needs to be added or subtracted -- a sense of peace with who and where you are. You are not hanging around the past with regrets or nostalgia, longing for the “good old times” nor are you feeling you need to add anything to the current moment, needing more, 10x-ing efforts to improve your situation -- none of which indicate a state of beingness that is “just right.”
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I’ve learned that when I say “no” to something, it usually sparks curiosity which turns my no into a “why not.” By asking why not, I learned about something that I had never imagined, in my wildest dreams, that would provide energy for me to live more healthy.
I wish I had had someone who could help me identify my blind spot, and walk me through possible solutions. That’s part of the purpose for this book and why I became a life coach.
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I became my own best client and tester of what I call “The Health Matrix.” It’s the whole thing - everything in your personal history that made you YOU today -- the details, the patterns, the hidden loyalties, the resources, the physical issues, the impact of your family, the impact of death and disease or wars on your personal coordinates -- these are all elements that are not usually examined when one first starts to look at an issue.
That is the starting point: Starting where you are. “Duh,” you say but I challenge you to curiously consider that one! Acknowledge what is, which is not for the squeamish! It requires courage as well as curiosity to engage this type of exploration while in a war zone or on a battlefield.
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Life is full of opportunities disguised as difficulties, whether it’s death, divorce, job loss, relational strains -- the list goes on. What do we do with these hardships?
Dig for gold.
Like miners during the Gold Rush, we have to clear away the blockages, endure the hard work and hold onto hope that we will find gold. Yet, all-too-often, we act like miners who aren’t willing to dig. Even worse, we pretend the pain doesn’t exist and we avoid the difficulty that will yield a massive payout. When we avoid how we really feel, it’s like putting lipstick on a pig. Stuffing these realities is expensive. It costs us the life force we so badly crave. They create energy blockages that don’t go away on their own. Avoiding difficult emotions requires significant energy that can lead to negative outcomes in relationships, career choices, and overall well-being. On the other hand, if we view blockages as doorways to personal growth with valuable insights, we release positive energy into our life. So, where do we begin?
We need to know where to dig.
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You don’t have to remain in a trance. You inherit your biological DNA, as well as emotional DNA, which includes how you think, what you believe and the values that govern the way you do things. In my case, weight gain was a foregone conclusion because I was in a trance that started as a child. I was taught that “no self-respecting Meyer (my maiden name), would eat a little piece of Marzipan.” No, you eat the whole thing in one sitting. There was a kind of pride to it. Russians could be coming, but in my family you ate the whole thing. And, I did every single time and I felt good about myself.
Was that normal? For me, in that system, yes. But compared to other family systems, no.
I will help reveal a few examples of trances — with relationships and with money. But there are many others we subscribe to. They are neither good nor bad, necessarily. The question is how do you feel about it? Is that attractive to you? Would you rather blend in than upset the status quo? Or maybe it depends. The bottom line is I want you to lean into curiosity so you can identify what’s “just right” for you as you pursue the best version of yourself.
When we wake up from a trance, the positive changes ripple through your life, your family, your work, neighborhood, and even your country.
In this podcast, I discuss one element from The Curiosity Quotient we cannot ignore. Watch and listen at your own risk.
The Curiosity Quotient — Self Assessment
Answer the following questions using your initial instinct and without much consideration. There’s no right or wrong answers, so just be honest with yourself.
When confronted with an unfamiliar topic, do you typically:
Feel excited about learning something new
Feel neutral
Feel anxious or uncomfortable
How often do you ask "why" or "how" questions about everyday phenomena?
Very frequently
Occasionally
Rarely
When you encounter differing viewpoints on a topic you care about, your first instinct is to:
Explore the reasoning behind those different perspectives
Defend your existing viewpoint
Avoid engaging with contrary opinions
How attentive are you to subtle changes in your physical sensations or body states?
Highly attentive - I regularly notice small shifts in my body
Moderately attentive
Minimally attentive - I rarely focus on bodily sensations
When learning something new, how important is it to you to understand underlying principles rather than just memorizing facts?
Extremely important
Somewhat important
Not particularly important
How often do you explore why certain patterns or traits recur in your family across generations?
Regularly - I'm fascinated by family patterns
Occasionally
Rarely or never
When facing a complex problem, do you:
Feel energized by the challenge
Feel neutral
Feel overwhelmed
How often do you use physical movement or body sensations as sources of insight or creativity?
Frequently - I consciously use my body as a thinking tool
Sometimes
Rarely - I primarily think with my mind separate from body awareness
When you notice a recurring family dynamic or trait in yourself, do you:
Feel curious and investigate its origins and influences
Acknowledge it but not explore deeply
Prefer not to examine family patterns
How frequently do you experiment with new approaches to familiar tasks?
Very frequently
Occasionally
Rarely
When given feedback that challenges your assumptions, do you typically:
Appreciate the opportunity to reconsider your thinking
Feel defensive but eventually consider it
Dismiss information that contradicts your views
How would you describe your curiosity about your body's signals and responses?
I'm deeply curious about what my body is communicating
I sometimes explore bodily sensations and their meanings
I rarely think about what my body might be "telling" me
Which statement best describes your relationship with family stories or traditions?
I actively seek to understand their origins and meanings
I participate but don't often question their significance
I have limited interest in family narratives and patterns
How much time do you typically spend exploring ideas without an immediate practical purpose?
Substantial time
Some time
Very little time
When encountering new technology, is your typical response:
Excitement to explore its capabilities
Willingness to learn if necessary
Reluctance to engage unless required
How strongly do you agree: "I'm curious about how my physical environment affects my thoughts and behaviors?"
Strongly agree
Somewhat agree
Disagree
How often do you investigate how your family's beliefs and values have shaped your worldview?
Regularly
Occasionally
Rarely
When you don't know something that others seem to know, do you feel:
Excited about the opportunity to learn
Neutral
Embarrassed or inadequate
To what extent do you enjoy connecting ideas from different domains or disciplines?
Greatly enjoy this
Somewhat enjoy this
Rarely think about cross-domain connections
How curious are you about the relationship between your emotional states and physical sensations?
Highly curious - I actively explore these connections
Somewhat curious
Minimally curious - I rarely consider these connections
Total Score Values:
When completed, add up your score using the numerical value of “3” for As, “2” for Bs and “1” for Cs.
20 - 30 = Low: Status Quo — Scores in the low range could reflect someone who feels stuck, resist change and/or find comfort maintaining their own worldview.
30 - 45 = Medium: Cautious Explorer — Scores in the medium range could reflect someone who may need a push at times to explore new ideas, but usually appreciates the adventure afterwards.
46 - 60 = High: Insight Investigator — Scores in the high range could reflect someone who is eager to find answers while setting aside their own preconceived notions.
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